Dialogue {Guest Post}

My dear friend Megan asked if she could write a guest post. I got so excited. I've had this post in my inbox for a couple weeks, actually, and I have been too busy to post it. So she has been so patient with me.
Megan is a skilled writer and I hope you enjoy this. :)
(Sorry about the weird format... I can't figure out how to fix it, and my computer is being stupid. :P)

Dialogue can make or break your story.

No, let me rephrase that.

Dialogue will make or break your story.

I love reading stories, especially when they’re written by people I know. But I can’t stand when

the dialogue is unrealistic, choppy, or almost non-existent. While there are many things in

dialogue that need to be addressed, I’m going to focus on one issue: gender. Girls, I’m sure you

know that guys are a lot different than you. Guys, if you haven’t already figured it out, y’all are

weird and girls are normal girls are different than you, too. The main problem I see when reading

a novel written by a girl who uses guy characters (and vice versa, guy using girl characters), is

that there is little to no difference in the dialogue.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you made it on time!”

“I know! I was worried I’d be late, but the traffic was lighter than I thought!”

“Oh good, I’m glad. Are you ready to head to the mall then?”

“Yes, I can’t wait!”

That was dialogue between a man and a woman. Are you surprised? Can you tell which is

which? I certainly can’t, especially with no dialogue or action tags. Chances are, the piece you

just read was written by a girl. Why do I say that? Look at all the exclamation points and the

wording. Not only does it not change between genders, but both the man and the woman seem to

speak in the same animated tone. This makes dialogue unrealistic. Before you girls start to feel

offended, don’t be. Guys have the same problem.

Here’s an example of the same scene from a guy’s style of writing:

“You made it on time.”

“Yeah, traffic moved fast.”

“That’s good. Ready to go?”

“Sure.”

Can you see the difference and the similarity? The scene written by a girl is more descriptive, but

also somewhat tiresome due to the usage of exclamation marks and animated dialogue. The

scene written by a guy is more concise, but has no description and is stiff.

Here are some similarities to note:

1. Both scenes take place in the same setting

2. Both scenes use both a man and a woman

3. Both scenes are hard to relate to

And the differences:

1. The girl’s scene has more energy (the guy’s scene is flat)

2. The guy’s scene is more concise (the girl’s scene is long)

3. The girl’s scene appeared to be between two females (the guy’s scene appeared to be between two guys)

Now, before either gender gets upset and accuses me of stereotyping, let me point out that I’m

doing a very exaggerated example. It’s true that there are some fantastic male authors that can

write a very realistic female. And yes ladies, there are some female authors who can write

amazing male characters as well. But note the key word “some”. As a generalization, the majority

of females that write male characters write them too feminine, and the majority of males that

write female characters write them too masculine. Don’t feel guilty about this! As a female, I

struggled for a very long time about differentiating the genders in my stories. It’s a default –

females are going to write the way they talk and males will write the way they talk. It’s normal.

But in this post, I’m going to help you break that habit.

The first step in distinguishing your female characters from your male characters is

understanding the differences of how they talk.

Instead of typing up another paragraph on how to do that, I’m going to take the scene from above

and show you. (Show vs. Tell)

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you made it on time!”

“Yeah, traffic moved fast.”

“Oh good, I’m so glad. Are you ready to head to the mall then?”

“Sure.”

Now can you tell who is who? In case you’re still in doubt, look up at my previous examples. I

combined the two scenes to reveal the genders of my two characters. It’s fairly easy to see that

my first character is a girl. Why? Because she says “Oh my gosh”. There are a few guys I know

who use this phrase on a regular basis, but if you think about it, the majority of people who say

this are females. Whether you agree with me on that point or not, if you put the phrase “Oh my

gosh” in a novel, the reader will automatically assume it’s from a female’s perspective unless

stated otherwise. Another thing to notice about the female character: she uses a lot more words.

This isn’t true for all females; several of my girlfriends will respond with one word answers. But

as a general rule, the majority of females use more words than males. One more thing to note

about the female character: the tone she sets is animated and excitable. She accomplishes this

by her use of exclamation points and the way she words her sentences.

Now for the points about the male character. If you’re reading that scene I just posted above, you

see the shorter dialogue and your brain jumps to one of two conclusions: one, someone is having

a bad day or two, it’s a male. So to separate genders, have the male characters be more concise.

A lot of girls I talk to feel that if they write male characters with fewer words, they come across

as mean or distant. This is not true. Here’s a short example from my current novel, A Heart of

Stone:

“There, all done.”

“Thank you! It feels better to have it flowing free than tangled.”

“I wouldn’t know…”

“Good. If your hair ever got to my length, I’d chop it all off myself!”

“How rude.”

“Sometimes rudeness is necessary!”

“Oh no…”

“What is it?”

I took out the dialogue and action tags because I wanted you to get a feel for the

interaction not the description. Could you tell who was the male and who was the

female? Did the male character seem distant or rude? This scene is probably a bit

confusing because I don’t have time to tell you all the background. My two characters

[Heather and Devon] are out in a forest and they’re just chatting. It was a very fun scene

to write, but my original draft looked quite similar to the first example I posted. All that to

say, shortening dialogue for a man doesn’t reduce his appeal to the reader or his

character traits. In fact, it strengthens it. When you understand what character is which

gender, you understand their motives.

The second point I want to make about writing male dialogue is don’t use exclamation

points. I caution all writers against using exclamation points, but if you do use them,

reserve them for a female characters. What happens when you use too many

exclamation points for a male character? He starts to sound girly, animated, and

annoying. So keep the exclamation points to a bare minimum. (There are some

exceptions such as in an emergency: the male character will not calmly walk into a

room and say, “Hello. There’s a fire next door and we’re all going to die.” He’s going to be more dramatic.)

I could go on for several more pages about how to improve and enhance the differences between

genders within dialogue, but I hope I’ve given you a starting point. If you have any questions,

comments, or want to know more about writing dialogue, let Sarah know and maybe she’ll allow

me to write another guest post for you all. :) Have a fantastic day and happy writing!

~Megan