Why...
That's the million dollar question.
Why?
Why do you write?
Why do you take pictures?
Why do you draw or paint or sculpt?
Why do you spend hours a day reading?
Learning...
Teaching...
Care taking...
Why...?
I was scrolling through my Pinterest earlier and ran across a quote that didn't have a name claiming it... But it said "Why do we think Autumn is so pretty? Everything is literally dying."
And I had to stop for a second and think about that. Everything is dying. The leaves, the plants, the bugs... Birds are migrating so that they don't die. And we think that it is pretty. To think of death as a pretty thing is mind blowing. The idea that most people's favorite season is a season of death is...something else. Something you have to stop and think about.
Why do we think it is pretty?
As I try my hardest to get my NaNoWriMo count up for the day, I ask myself several times why in the world do I still write? Or why I chose to keep this novel going when it clearly has plot holes, outline problems, and weak characters? One, is because it's NaNo and everything written during NaNo isn't all that great. Two, I had fallen in love with the idea of completing this novel. Not only that, I had fallen in love with the weak characters and undeveloped plot. So it needs some help, right? That's why it's a "rough draft".
But the question why always plagues me. I tried to stop writing once. Lasted probably two months before I got annoyed with myself and started a whole new series. Guess what? I ended completing a novel in that series that I absolutely love. It's a third draft now and still needs help, but I love it. When we push ourselves past our limits and then ask ourselves why we even did it in the first place, a dying period always comes. There's dying seasons. Seasons where we won't want to do things. In these seasons of dying passions, we realize just how much we love what we're doing. Or you realize just how much over your head you were.
But the point is:
There will always be the "why's".
There will always be seasons of dying.
But you know what?
Guess what happens after everything falls?
Snow comes. (for most people)
It comes white. Pure and full of sparkly treasures. It shows us the sacrifice the leaves and bugs and birds had to make, and that it was worth it.
The dying season can be beautiful. It can be full of moments of "breathers" and moments where you can relax. In those moments you realize what comes next after everything seems dead. The snow comes, bringing greater and brighter things.
Every. single. person. has seasons where everything appears to be dead.
Passions gone.
Creativity a big gaping hole in our brains.
Inspiration completely evaporated.
Motivation to do what we love just up and ran away.
And for the moment, you see the beauty in it. You can finally just breathe and relax. But as the wind picks up, the leaves blow away, you realize how much you really miss those passions. That creativity and inspiration and motivation.
It's for everything in life. Not just for writers, or photographers, or painters. Life is full of the question why and it's full of the seasons where everything is dead. Part of life is dying. Physically and metaphorically.
Why do you love science?
Why do you spend countless hours and years studying and practicing medicine?
Why do you still try and paint that picture even after years of mess up?
Why do you keep moving forward?
WHAT motivates you?
In each of those things is a season that at first looks beautiful, but then "why's" plague you, and the wind blows in, picking up every leaf, leaving the ground bare... Don't let it slip away. Don't let life get you down with the whys. Snow is coming. Treasure.
It's funny how when I write how unforced it is.
It takes me forever to get myself to write. I usually convince myself that there is something better to do. But as soon as I sit down to write, the words just flow. For the majority of time anyways. I can write thousands of word in one sitting if I just let myself go of the bare grounds. Let the snow fall down.
My sister is a photographer. A lot of times she doesn't capture pictures in the moments, because she convinces herself that she has something else to do. (Granted, she is busy a lot and actually doesn't have time..sometimes...) But as soon as she purposefully sets out to take pictures, she fills up SD cards like crazy with fantastic work!
I often wonder if we just quit with the whys, quit telling ourselves there's something better and let ourselves just...go, what would happen?
It's the bare grounds that get us down.
It's the questions of why that plague us with doubt.
It's yourself that keeps you from being the best YOU.
It's our own minds that convince us that there is something better to do, and that passions and art can wait.
But what if the moment leaves you?
The sun might not set like that again.
The words to that poem might not last in your mind forever.
The children will grow up fast...
The paint will eventually dry up; clump.
Why?
That's the million dollar question.
Why do you write?
Why do you take pictures?
Why do you draw or paint or sculpt?
Why do you spend hours a day reading?
Learning...
Teaching...
Care taking...
Because you are a human. You have talents and you were meant to use them for good. You have art that is meant to be shared with the world. You have compassion that is going to spread abroad.
Perhaps the why doesn't matter.
Maybe it never did.
The leaves fall every year and every time they die we think it is the most beautiful thing ever.
Autumn means even more beautiful things to come. For in those moments of temporary death, life always wins out. True passions show.
And maybe none of that makes sense. Maybe I just needed to write out a small rant. Who knows.
Do you love your passions? Do you strive to be your best, even as the autumn leaves blow away and give way to bare grounds? Do you let the "why" question always haunt you?
**** <Snow Flakes>
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