Hello, Autumn

Enough with the writing post for now. They're fun to write. Like super fun. But I really have no idea what in the world I am doing when it comes to writing. Does anyone really, though? *shrugs*

Autumn.

My bones ache...

It's such a beautiful season. A season for change. A season for colors. It's where the summer leaves start to wither away, slowly losing their color, their life and crumpling, floating down to the ground in the slow death of summer. The departure of the heat is slow, but leaving nonetheless, giving me a legit reason to wear my hoodies. I live in the mid-west where spring and fall barely exist. It's like a small thread of time where I actually get to see the leaves change color and float poetically to the ground in the symbolism that summer is going away. Fall has started here. Pumpkins are out. Hay bales are used for decoration for who knows what.
And as summer fades with the last long sunset of the year, I wonder what exactly I have accomplished this year. I can now do a pirouette. I have finished the third draft of a novel... Made it past a hundred poems, and entered a novel into a contest that I was scared to enter in before.
But does any of that matter? Those are just things that are temporary. It only matters for the moment, not for eternity...

My soul aches...

All the things I thought I was good at have faded into nothing. Writing has turned into a painful chore. It isn't that I don't like to write anymore, it's that all inspiration is dry. My creativity is completely gone. Ten years spent learning to play the piano and it's hard for me to just sit and play that classical baroque piece that I used to adore. I stare at the computer screen and sip at my coffee drink while I try to figure out what in the world my characters are doing. And I have an overwhelming feeling to just take a walk and leave my writing be every time I try. It's no longer about whether I can write. Because I can. Anyone can put words on paper and call it a novel. (*cough*) It's the fear of no one liking it. I could care less what people thought of me. I just want them to like my art. That's all. And that's a lot to ask of people. And that's a sorry reason for not wanting to write or play the piano or make poetry.

 But it's the hard truth for every single person.

Why don't you do what you used to love? Maybe it's because someone said it wasn't good, and instead of trying harder, you were filled with fear that it would never be good. It's not just a writer thing. It's a musician thing. It's a pastor thing. It's a mother or father thing... It's a life thing. How often have we quit because someone didn't like it?

But it's my art!
It's my baby...
That's my life... my work...

My spirit aches...

God's creation floats around us, slowly changing from scorching summer to the color of autumn and we don't take the time to admire His art... 
Soon autumn will fade into winter, sprinkling upon our heads snow flakes and sheets of ice. And God looks down at us from Heaven and whispers, "Why didn't you like my art?" He knows our busy lives, and all He asks for is a moment of our time, just tell Him how much we appreciate the falling leaves, the snow flakes or the rays of the sun that are setting off in the west.

That's all we want, isn't it? Just a little bit of praise. We just want to be told that our manuscript was amazing, or that that poem was beautiful, or the song was gorgeous. We want to be told we're doing a good job raising those little kids, or parenting those teenagers. And when you take the time to tie that tie, or put the mascara on, you want to be told your pretty or handsome.
It's human nature.

And God doesn't ask much of us. He doesn't get upset when we don't tell Him how beautiful of a day it is. But we are made in His image. Don't you think He'd love it if you told Him that the sky is exceptionally darling today? Or that the spring flowers are poetical...?

Hello, Autumn. 
Soon it will be goodbye. Don't miss it. Enjoy the moment and live fully in the now. Because even if your work and art isn't admired right now, someday, someone will think it is. And God knows your doing your best.

Don't give up on your passions.
Autumn is just beginning. So maybe you should try and start up what you used to love, or begin something new. Take the time to admire the Creator's art. Take a deep breath and let go of the fear that was in the past.